1 year.

A year ago today, I saw my Dad for the last time and said good-bye. It doesn't seem like it has been a full year since I spoke to him, and it doesn't even seem like that should be possible. Grief is not a fun thing, and I think I spend most of my time not trying to dwell on it in front of others, mainly because the thought of him being gone can make me swell up with tears everytime. I wonder if that ever goes away. I think I will always miss him like I did when it was so fresh. I would like to believe he is in a better place, forgiven for any wrongs and hanging out with his Mom. I like to believe that he is watching over Darrian, and our family, and making sure we are safe. I have to believe that he can see him growing and is not missing out on all the things he is learning.
I choose the things that I loved about my Dad and I carry those traditions on. Darrian and I say our prayers every night, I tell him to sleep tight and to not let the bed bugs bite. I think of my Dad each time I say it.
My Mom found some old pictures, I am going to try and get pictures of them. They were a lot of fun to look back at and see a younger him that I did not know. I wish I could have found them when he was still alive so he could tell me about those periods in his life. I guess sometimes you just don't get a chance.

Miss you Dad, and Love you.