I have bags under my eyes...

Seriously. I just looked in the mirror and I have bags under my eyes. In my almost 31 years of life I have never had bags under my eyes. Ever. I posted this on facebook last week :
is having one of those nights. Darrian down, Quincy down, Miles still up... Miles down, Quincy up, Darrian up... Darrian down, and both Miles and Quincy up.

This about sums up the last 7 weeks. Twins and a toddler are hard work, and I will be honest and say that there are moments where my patience is so thin. Often I feel like Darrian has to deal with it the most because he is able to verbally say what he needs and to hear a 3 year old say please please please please please please about a million times when one or both babies are crying is a test. However I only set ONE goal for myself this year and that was to think more positive. Not about my kids, but life in general. However, I see that I can apply it to my day to day easily. This is going to get better, really all it is going to take is sleep. I know we will get there, I just don't know when and that is hard.

I took Miles and Quincy to their 6 week (they bump the 2 mo. visit up so they get get vax in them sooner for whooping cough) appointment by myself. I know that sounds nuts. However, I am working part-time from home from 5 am to 10 am (turns into 11am and more.. again nuts) each day, and Keith trying to get himself and three boys ready and out the door on time with me has not been successful. So I thought I would try it on my own. Also Darrian is very protective of his brothers, and I thought I would try and save the nurse who is just doing her job from getting the evil eye and some words about giving his brother shots. So I decided I would go alone. In the middle of parking the HUGE stroller in the hallway, trying to figure out how to get both boys out of carseats and not leave one unattended on the table to roll off while getting the other out... then both undressed, weighed , dressed again..I made the comment "Well this is proving to have been a cake walk with one". The nurse said "oh you have another child" .To which I replied "Yes a 3 year old". She then said "Wow your lucky, I can't even have one". Yep. About an inch big is how I felt. Snap back to reality. I had no words to give her, and I felt so selfish. I know I am blessed, and I am thankful. I need to remember that when I am in the throws of hard work that parenting brings. I can't imagine my life without my children in it, and I had moments of loss where I thought maybe I would not have the blessings I do have. Reminders of how blessed I really am.

Both boys are doing great, all three really. I will fill in on weights and such soon. I need to keep this blog up to date because it is so precious to me to look back on for Darrian and I want that for Quincy and Miles too.

Hopefully someday (soon) I will have no bags under my eyes and be getting sleep. Throw your good thoughts my way.