1 year.

A year ago today, I saw my Dad for the last time and said good-bye. It doesn't seem like it has been a full year since I spoke to him, and it doesn't even seem like that should be possible. Grief is not a fun thing, and I think I spend most of my time not trying to dwell on it in front of others, mainly because the thought of him being gone can make me swell up with tears everytime. I wonder if that ever goes away. I think I will always miss him like I did when it was so fresh. I would like to believe he is in a better place, forgiven for any wrongs and hanging out with his Mom. I like to believe that he is watching over Darrian, and our family, and making sure we are safe. I have to believe that he can see him growing and is not missing out on all the things he is learning.
I choose the things that I loved about my Dad and I carry those traditions on. Darrian and I say our prayers every night, I tell him to sleep tight and to not let the bed bugs bite. I think of my Dad each time I say it.
My Mom found some old pictures, I am going to try and get pictures of them. They were a lot of fun to look back at and see a younger him that I did not know. I wish I could have found them when he was still alive so he could tell me about those periods in his life. I guess sometimes you just don't get a chance.

Miss you Dad, and Love you.

Happy Easter!

We had a great weekend, and Easter. We went to church on Sunday, and then came home and had an Easter Egg hunt, played outside and I made dinner. It was relaxing and fun. Even though Darrian did not "get" it all the way, he was steps closer than he was last year. He did enjoy the treats.

On the hunt:

(outfit provided by Grandma)

He would open each egg as he found them, made for long hunting :)


Our Basket for Darrian:

Grandma's, she also got him tickets to go see Elmo (Mel-mo if you ask him) Live :)

On his firetruck (grandma got him for Christmas, sensing a theme here?)

Daddy and Darrian drawing with chalk

Hanging out with his kitty at the end of the night.

Christmas Recap.

Christmas Recap.

It came and went really fast. It did not feel like Christmas that much to me, I guess it has to do with the changing of traditions that we were used to. In time I think that we will be used to them and then it will feel right again. Darrian had a great Christmas. He really loved all his stuff, and he got a ton. He liked Elmo that Grandma got him. My favorite gift came from my Mom, it was a camera lens I have been drolling over for almost a year, and a external flash. What more could a Camera hungry girl ask for right??

Christmas eve I took Darrian to the children's Mass at church, it was not as enjoyable as I wanted it to be because Darrian is not into sitting in one place for an hour. We lasted as long as we could, and then I went home to cook dinner for the family. Mom stayed the night to be there when Darrian opened his gifts in the morning, and Auntie Devyn came over for breakfast on Christmas morning. That afternoon we went to Chris and Julie's for Christmas dinner. Her family was nice enough to invite us all over. It was a good time, we had a bunch of fun like we always do.

Friday Mom invited us on a trip to Monterey where we had a really nice time relaxing, going to the aquarium, and the beaches. It was a great ending to a long Christmas weekend.

These are in no order

Thanksgiving weekend Recap!

Hope you all had a wonderful Turkey day. We had a great weekend/day. I made the stuffing, ham, macaroni and cheese, pumpkin bars, brownies, and warmed the turkey. K cooked a bit and Devyn brought her well known greens. Mom supplied drinks, turkey,and appetizers. It is this group effort that really makes it easy on us. Natalie came into town with her sister, nephew, and her sister's fiance. They braved a VERY long car ride from LA to surprise their Mom with Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday Natalie, my friend Katie, and I door busted at 5:00 am. Hitting up lots of stores, and many sales. I got most of my items on my list and I am almost done shopping. It is a light year, but I was glad to grab some deals. Saturday I took Darrian to the park to play, then headed home and went to Berkeley with Natalie and Family. Berkeley is the same, lots of people watching, lots of things to look at.. and more shopping to be done. Sunday Natalie headed home, and we headed to Chris and Julie to see them and the girls who were fresh in from their trip to FL. It was a perfect ending to a long weekend. I took some pictures, not as many as I normally do.

The Ever growing Ms. Lily.

Place we went to in Berkeley on College Ave.

Natalie's Mom, Nat, and Her Mom's BF






Nat's nephew Tomas.. I still remember this kid when he was a baby! It is crazy to think he is almost 13!

Can't stop on College and not get Zachary's

The Family

and of course the cutest kid ever at the park :)

Playing with the musical instruments.

Halloween..

I took halloween off. I think it may be a yearly thing. I remember my Mom rushing home from work, trying to get us ready, and then taking us out that night to trick-o-treat.. I didn't want to rush. When I was a bit older (12ish) I would ride with her over to Lynda's and spend the day with Chris waiting for them to get home and then participate in the haunted house Lynda put on each year. This year Darrian and I had a playdate in the morning with the Mom's then we all headed to Stockton to spend the time with Chris and Julie and the family. The girls had fun running from house to house, D took it all in hitting up a few houses here and there. Saturday we spent the day and the boys went to the movies.

D for sure has a favorite spot for his godfather Chris. Halloween night we got back from trick-o-treating and he crawled into Chris lap when he was feeding Lily and snuggled. It was super precious. He also cried when Chris left to go to the garage and the movies. SO sweet.

Too freaking cute!